Homestuck.XYZ 2.0

A young shark sharks in her sharkroom. It just so happens that today, the 16th of Sharkpril 2020, is this young shark's birthday. This Shark was born in 2007 and ISN'T an absolute toddler. Time sure is a concept!!
As per Shark Tradition, every 13 year old shark must go on a sharktastic sharkventure to prove their worth and finally join the most exciting and important parts of their lives - Shark Teenagehood. What will the first action of our sharky shark friend be??
Wait. Where is--

GAH!!
[Accepting commands!]

>Do the Jaws thing



You're not entirely sure what the Jaws thing is, but you DID get a sudden urge to hunt everything in sight. A little snack won't mean much, would it...?

>Examine Posters



Ever since you were little, your father ensured that you only listened to QUALITY MUSIC. According to him,QUALITY MUSIC is ANY MUSIC MADE BEFORE THE 1970s. He is correct, of course. Probably. Here you have SHARKIS SHARKLEY, one of the most famous performers of his time, and a vinyl your father gifted you on the less important 12th birthday. There's also a picture of some human guy. You have no idea who he is.

>Shark: retrieve (swimmers) arms and use it to open that Shark chest!



Goshdarn it!! It seems as though the shark chest is locked. You tried to lock your things in an attempt to be a cool teenager with secrets, but all it did is make you lose your key!! Not even your strong arms can help you.

>Bite it open



...

>If you can't open it, toss it out the window! It's not like it'll ever become relevant!


Yeah you don't think you ever will, or want to, see that shark chest again. It's not like throwing your biggest secrets out into the world is gonna bite you in the fin later. Yup. Definitely not.

>No matter what happens with the box, have a cartoonishly exaggerated reaction and swim down the stairs


You tried to run down the stairs, but your fin caught on something and made you fall. Mixed with your recent experience with the magic chest, it left you down on the ground, metaphorically and physically.
What is the point anymore?
Will anything ever go well to you?
You want to cry.

>Cheer up Bucko! look's like your chest is back, that's good! now open it like you always do. yup, works every time.


Chest? What chest? There's no chest here.

>The Chest is hiding underneath the bedsheets



Well would you look at that, that sure is a chest hidden underneath the bedsheets! Who would've thought.

>Get a paying job now that you are of age


Well hey now! Getting a paying job is incredibly tricky business - it can take a long time searching for listings, going to interviews and all that jazz. And you still haven't completed your quest, which would make it completely legal for you to be employed! But you definitely note it down in your to do list as something... to do.
Still now. Looking at this list, it actually reminds you the writer that maybe you should start your adventure. Today is an important day, after all.



You descend down the stairs, the warm water flowing gently under your fins. A sudden flush of anxiety hits you like never before. You've been longing for this day for years - to finally get a paying job, to earn your name, to get some kind of respect that adults so often forget to give children. You want the privelages of adulthood. And yet, are you good enough for it? Are you ever ready...?
You take a gulp of oxygen and float to meet your father.

FATHER: Hello daughter.
YOU: Dad.
FATHER: The day has come, hasn't it?
YOU: Give me the scrolls, father.
FATHER: You know the rules, and so do I.
YOU: ...

What do you do?