Pestergen: AI-Generated Pesterlogs

[twirlingjesters]

I trained a GPT-2 text generation model using every pesterlog in Homestuck, and used it to generate entirely new Pesterlogs. You can see a collection of them that I've uploaded here:

http://pestergen.com/

Currently the site holds around 10000 randomly generated pesterlogs. As it stands, they can range from somewhat accurate to very absurd. Feel free to tell me what you think.

[calamityCons]

I think it's absolutely hilarious how these characters' voices remain in spite of the gobbledygook that is the actual content of their sentences. Dave's long diatribes still sound like Dave even when he's speaking some right nonsense.

[twirlingjesters]

I think it's absolutely hilarious how these characters' voices remain in spite of the gobbledygook that is the actual content of their sentences. Dave's long diatribes still sound like Dave even when he's speaking some right nonsense.

That's the interesting thing: The model is great at recognizing quirks, personalities and intonations, but higher level concepts like conversational topics and goals seem to (somewhat) elude it.

[SC]

Oh man, this is great. I love me some AI garbage, so thanks for making this!

[pfeffer-29]

This is glorious. I got a conversation between John and a salamander wherein they discussed, among other things, Javascript objects and Roxy. This generator is a gift to Homestuckkind.

[pfeffer-29]

WAIT I GOT A HORUSS ONE
HORUSS: 8=D < It is a long story that involves many strange and mysterious people, all hatching plans in secret.
HORUSS: 8=D < But of course it also involves a lot of boys and their complicated, often bloody skirmishes with Daddy Long Legs.
HORUSS: 8=D < And when it comes down to it, I would go as far as saying that we came as close as we possibly could without resorting to violence.
HORUSS: 8=D < The secret to our success was as simple as it is.
HORUSS: 8=D < I said we could afford to lose this one.
HORUSS: 8=D < But I didn't have to lose anyone.
HORUSS: 8=D < Roxy and I had a plan. We could have chosen a more conservative course first, and then waited for the right moment to strike it off.

[calamityCons]

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[Kidpen]

DEEPLEX: dont you remember how we all met up in game?
TEREZI: 3V3RYBODY
TEREZI: WHO 3V3R M34N1NG M3 D4V3
DEEPLEX: you mean the trolls
TEREZI: Y3S TROLLS!
DEEPLEX: every troll is a mystery, and we n33ds we can s33 you trough some hoops
TEREZI: BUT TH3Y MUST BE STOPP3D B3C4US3 TROLL 1S WORK1NG FOR YOU
TEREZI: 1 4M NOT WORK1NG T1R3L3SSLY ON YOUR TR34SUR3 1S
TEREZI: 1 JUST W4NT3D TO M3SS W1TH YOU
DEEPLEX: oh you forgot about your troll friends
DRACO: Y34H

Who the heck is deeplex and draco.

Also:

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KANKRI: 9nce again, I ap9l9gize. I've 6lundered int9 the pr96lematic territ9ry 9f vacillati9n shaming, thus 9pening the fl99dgates t9 the myriad ways in which I may 6e res6ointed t9 my fragility. I f9rg9t t9 check my piety privilege, and here we are. I was g9ing t9 c9ver this t9pic in a much later chapter 9f my lecture, 6ut we've g9tten 6adly derailed here.
KANKRI: P9rrim, I'm s9rry f9r this interrupti9n. I pr9mise I'll get 6ack t9 my critical lecture as s99n as this pr9miscu9us 6usy69dy leaves us in peace.
PORRIM: Yes, critical lecture. I'm sure.
PORRIM: And am I right in being just as sure yo+u are assiduo+usly deco+nstructing every co+nceivable injusticeesponse to+ the dim mistranslation of his name?
KANKRI: N9. Just, n9, P9rrim. We're n9t d9ing this.
KANKRI: I am n9t g9ing t9 p9llute Karkat's utterly imperative crash c9urse, in which he is intr9duced t9 the A6S9LUTE 6ASICS, 6y indulging in y9ur pet issues.
PORRIM: Yes, ho+w dreadful it wo+uld be fo+r yo+ur sixty nine millio+n wo+rd essay to+ get bo+gged do+wn by even the faintest reference to+ the ro+les o+f gender in Befo+ran and Alternian civilizatio+n.

This one makes the most sense out of the ones I've looked at. Possible because the dancestors have less stuff to work with.

Alright I'm gonna start collecting my favorites in this post to avoid spamming the thread.

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KARKAT: DO YOU EVER EVEN GET TIRED?
TEREZI: WH4TS TH4T SUPPOS3D TO M34N!
KARKAT: ALL YOU DO IS RUN YOUR MOUTH ALL DAY, AND SNIFF AND LICK PEOPLE INAPPROPRIATELY WITH THAT SHIT EATING GRIN.
KARKAT: I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER EVEN SEEN YOU YAWN.
TEREZI: 1M G3TT1NG PR3TTY T1R3D R1GHT NOW 4S 4 M4TT3R OF F4CT
TEREZI: T1R3D OF YOUR BULLSH1T

ahahaha this is great.

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Hide Pesterlog
TG: yes
TG: frame perfect
TG: femme fatale style
TG: prowling the dark pockets of her foul breath
TG: penetrating her mystifying aura
TG: penetrating her mystifying aura more
TG: i find her little black feet
TG: digging dents in her planters
TG: thwunching them against the pavement
TG: till she falls asleep
TG: and then the planters will be tall and proud
TG: prowling the dark pockets of her foul breath
TG: penetrating her mystifying aura

This isn't even an excerpt, this is the entire log. It's just Dave.

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TG: ahahahaha
TG: wow
TG: ok thats pretty amazing
TG: i wonder if this can finally be the conversation where hes actually the one trashing me
TG: instead of some limp twitching malarkey
TG: like hes some kind of retrograde autistic f01f who cherishes his dick more than all the other retarded shippys
TG: *slams fist into*
TG: "eridan the liar"

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GA: Yes
GA: In The Future
TT: You and your friends never cease to invent ways to strengthen the credibility of your assertions.
GA: Oh My It Is Your Human Sarcasm Again
GA: I Enjoy Listening To It And I Wish Doing So Could Serve As My Primary Form Of Recreation
GA: There See I Just Did It Too
GA: Saying The Opposite Thing To Emphasize My Contempt
GA: Whereas You May Regard As A Tumor Upon Prolonging In A Public Setting
GA: I Am Not Supposed To Speak Against Your Flow Of Terms
GA: You Are Conscience
TT: That's an interesting observation.
TT: I thought the point was to spread the blame.
GA: But Then When I See Starships Capitalized I Find It Just Makes Me Nervous
GA: As If They Realized What A Dreaded Mercenary I Am
GA: They Would Nurture A Dreadful Gargoyle Bearing The Form Of A Child
GA: Like A Dreadful Reveler

I like the ones that start off like an actual log but then become not.

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AG: That's fair.
AG: But she also said you'd see her.
AG: So I guess you are Skyping Now.

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BRAD: I'm going to wake up.
JADE: but why?
BRAD: Why would you do that? It's not like you have a million riddles left to go through.
BRAD: I have to go do my puzzle thing.
JADE: bye bye.
JADE: ok i will deal with the bot thing.
JADE: seriously though, we shouldn't hold our breath about those reactionaries.
JADE: i dunno, feel like we should be getting more creative this time
BRAD: No, we should keep moving this team along.
BRAD: Who knows? Maybe even hire some automated retorts.
JOHN: heck, hire a robot to do your hair?
JOHN: i mean, hire a REAL computer program to do your hair.
JOHN: i don't really have a problem with that. it's just...
JOHN: weird.
JADE: yes i agree
JADE: i think its more fun that way
JOHN: oh.
JOHN: so you can keep leaving your weird commentaries to Siri?
JOHN: which is what i was talking about doing with the bots, right?
JADE: nope
JADE: theyre dumb and annoying and i dont know why they got to be like that
JOHN: i guess maybe when i became Enlightened, I lost my mind?

It'd be cool if there was like a search function so I could see if Deeplex, Draco, or Brad show up ever again.

[calamityCons]

The Pestergen AI has created its own OCs. What a time to be alive.

[calamityCons]

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John's family history seems to have gone way off the rails in Pestergen's universe.