Darkshade

[deadlyAdder]

You equip the MOP, a trusty tool that EVERY janitor needs.


You guess you'll take the WUNDERLUBE too.

[deadlyAdder]

You open the door and exit the janitorial closet.
Oh...
Oh god...
What the fuck HAPPENED out here????
and more importantly,
are you going to have to clean this up?????
Oh, the horror.

[deadlyAdder]

...
Yeah, you don't think you'll be able to clean all these holes in the walls. Aaand there's more blood in the room through this one. Hoo boy.


Huh. What a weirdly shaped door.
Additionally, there are hoofprints leading out of that room. Which. Has some kind of chair in it?
Hm.
Maybe someone was... keeping a cow in here?

To be honest, you've got no fucking clue what's happening. You never really pay much attention to any door other than the janitorial closet door. The ones with windows often have shutters on them or are too dark to see inside. Saves on this place's budget, you guess.


Looks like the cow must've been. Struck by sudden random lightning??
Ok, you give up.
Oh hey, a room labelled with a drawing of a bucket!! Which is a janitorial cleaning supply!!! You've been needing one of those for a while.


You are now the bucket. Your entire life has been spent stuck in this dark containment cell. You don't even remember a time you were free.
Then again, you don't remember much.
When you see the light, you start to wonder if you maybe finally died. From starvation or something. But then you remember that you don't need to eat.
...
This guy looks friendly. That mop he has looks pretty neat too.
You think that you and this guy who just opened your containment door are gonna be best friends.

[misery]

be the janitors hats

[deadlyAdder]

You are now CJ again. That bucket kind of just rolled out of that room by itself, on the wheels on the bottom. You guess it's robotically controlled to follow you and help you with janitorial stuff? Cool.
What you don't know, however, is that Bucket is very much sentient, and also Always Has The Same Damn Puddle Under It For Some Reason.

[deadlyAdder]

BUCKET: ...
CJ: ...
BUCKET: ...
CJ: ...


Alas, you cannot do it. As well as having STAGE FRIGHT, being a bucket means that you CANNOT SPEAK.

[deadlyAdder]

You fail to be the hat because the hat DOES NOT THINK and IS NOT A SENTIENT BEING.

[Mirage Xel]

Bucket: Put that heart emoticon you made onto your body.

[deadlyAdder]

Huh? What? You're a sentient bucket, not some kind of sticker machine.
Anyway. This hallway sure is pretty long. Sure are a lot of doors here to explore. Is that an elevator at the end there? That could be you and your new friend's ticket out of here.

[deadlyAdder]

You decide to take the lead!! You will protect your new friend, and make sure it's safe up ahead.

[deadlyAdder]

You decide to check out the weird-looking plum jelly stuff on the floor, while that little robotic bucket on wheels heads over to the elevator at the end of the hall.


...
That does not taste like plum jelly.

[deadlyAdder]

aww SHIET here we go [strik]aag[/stri
agian

[deadlyAdder]

...
Nothing happens. You fail to "trip the balls" whatever that means. You've never even heard of that saying. Is it something to do with sports or something? Hell if you know.

[deadlyAdder]

You cannot open the door to the DOOR CONTROLS, as it is locked. You'll need a KEYCARD to get in, although looking around the corner you guess you don't really need to get in anyway, cause that big metal door is stuck open a little. You should be able to get through.


You head over to the elevator where your little robot buddy-- BUCKET. You mean the little robot bucket. You're not lonely enough to make friends with a bucket, you swear!! Honest!!!
What were we talking about again? Oh, yeah.
You head over to the elevator where your little robot bucket is waiting. Guess it wants you to go to the other floors?? Maybe it's got mess detection. Then again, it didn't go off at the Not-Plum-Jelly back there, so maybe it's broken.
...
You wait a while before realizing that there's no way the bucket could've called down the elevator, because it doesn't have arms.
You press the button.
...
...
...
...
You wait.
...
...
...
For the elevator to arrive.
...
...
...
...
...


......Ah.
That's. Not good. Looks like someone... spilled red cordial. And also caused the elevator to get stuck because of it.
...
Ok, now you're just being dumb on purpose. But honestly, I don't blame you. Some things are just... best left un-thought about.

[deadlyAdder]

You bump against your best friend caringly. He turns his eyes away from the grim sight, instead looking down at you with what you can only guess is gratefulness. He understands how much you care, you're sure of it.


...
You think this robot bucket is broken. Keeps bumping into you. Oh well, at least it's a companion of some kind. Not that you're lonely or anything.



You and your buddy you mean Bucket proceed to the blast door.

[deadlyAdder]

heeheehee, this is stupid!
Or, it would be stupid, if it was something that you actually decided to do. But it's so ridiculous, that the thought doesn't even cross your himbo mind.
Anyway. Let's go see what Hulking Mass and Shadowed Anomaly are up to again.

[deadlyAdder]

You did. Now you're in this room, where Darryl is kept. Darryl is an old friend of you and HM's, back from college.
Darryl likes it in that tube. Darryl thinks you should get closer, and honestly you agree that you should do that.

[deadlyAdder]

You proceed to go into an ABSOLUTE BATSHIT CRAZY RAGE!! WHO THE FUCK IS DARRYL??? COLLEGE???? YOU'RE A FUCKING ANOMALY, YOU NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE.


You smash open the test tube, which seems to knock SA out of whatever weird influence Darryl had over them. They look shaken up, to say the least.

[deadlyAdder]

HM isn't a boy. It's a genderless amorphous mass of flesh. But you give them a pat anyway, for helping you out of Darryl's influence.
You know, Darryl's kind of a prick.

[North-West-]

SA: Examine DARRYL